August 10 | Want a Strong Marriage? Outdo Each Other in Love. | Marriage Series | Barry Rodriguez
Update: 2025-08-13
Description
The pastors of Grace have witnessed many, many marriages in our spiritual family facing trials, challenges, and even collapse. From our vantage point, we have seen one common denominator appear too many times to count: selfishness. Whether it’s a mentality that says, “what I want/need is most important,” or an addiction to control, or an aversion to doing the difficult work of conflict resolution because it’s just too uncomfortable, a focus on self damages marriages faster than almost anything else.
In Romans 12, however, Paul calls Christ-followers to take a different approach: one of self-giving love. In v.10 he says, literally, “outdo one another in showing honor.” The mental image of running a race with your spouse to outdo them in love and honor as they do the same (rather than looking for what love and honor they’ll give you), is a powerful one. If we adopt this posture, we can reverse the corrosive influence of selfishness in our marriages and replace it with Christlike love which can bring healing and long-term fulfillment. Marriage is a race to the bottom.
In Romans 12, however, Paul calls Christ-followers to take a different approach: one of self-giving love. In v.10 he says, literally, “outdo one another in showing honor.” The mental image of running a race with your spouse to outdo them in love and honor as they do the same (rather than looking for what love and honor they’ll give you), is a powerful one. If we adopt this posture, we can reverse the corrosive influence of selfishness in our marriages and replace it with Christlike love which can bring healing and long-term fulfillment. Marriage is a race to the bottom.
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